My Story of Weight Gain and Loss

Binge eating disorderIt all started in high school

After around 10th grade I began to eat mindlessly in front of the TV a lot.  I didn’t exercise.  I put on extra weight.  The truth is at first I wanted to gain weight!  I was a late bloomer and hoped the fat might just land in the right spots.  Well, it pretty much landed everywhere.  I was a size 8-12.  It varied like most women with ups and downs, diets and binges, exercise and stagnation.  After carrying that extra flesh for almost 10 years, I had begun to see myself simply as big-boned.  I looked at the beautiful Renaissance paintings of voluptuous women and wished that size was still the ideal, because that was more like me.  I tried to accept myself but just didn’t like how my body physically felt.

Dressing room shocker (there were tears)

Then, after eating more naturally for some time and jogging a little, I needed to buy a new suit.  I went to the store during my lunch break and brought a size 8 and 10 pant into the dressing room.  The size 8 seemed roomy and though I doubted they would fit, I ventured to bring in a 6.  I pulled those black linen pants over my hips, zipped them up and hooked the top, and they fit me perfectly.  I was in disbelief.  A six.  A size I never imagined I’d see on my body again, yet there they were, looking great.  I sat down and quietly cried in the dressing room, out of astonishment and joy.

My body forgot it was fat

Once I had made that breakthrough and realized that my size could change, it managed to keep changing with each year of natural eating.  Four, two, zero, back to two again and sometimes four, but never again returning to an 8, 10, 12.  My body’s set point has changed.  It has recognized that a natural weight for me is in the 0-4 size range.  (I am giving sizes rather than weight because I haven’t weighed myself since starting this method years ago).  That is just me now.  I am a healthy sized person.  If you had foretold me this 15 years ago I would not have believed it.  Yet here I am, feeling naturally thin/ average size.  Naturally.  Yep.  That is just who I am.

Categories: Getting Started

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